I Win or No One Does (Week of 10/14/2010)

I know that I have an overdeveloped sensitivity to injustice. I enjoy being right. No, I LOVE being right. Correcting people, or sharing information with people, is something I relish. my family jokes that when I correct someone, I can't understand why they don't thank me for telling them that they're wrong. And this is pretty accurate. My desire for things to be right extends beyond myself though. I like rules, I like it when people follow rules and do what they're supposed to do. It follows, that I really don't like it when people don't do what I think is right. Maybe I'm just bossy, but either way, I can become quite self-righteous. Arrogance and rudeness, are really a symptom of something else. For me, they're rooted in this need to be right.

In a conversation with an old family friend this week, I was reminded that it is ALWAYS better to be kind than to be right. That's a tough maxim to live by. And I'm not entirely convinced it's an absolute.

Being rude is quite the opposite of being kind. But it's so tempting when someone refuses to recognize when I am in the right to make a snide comment to make them see my perspective. My problem with kindness is that I associate it with weakness in these instances. I don't want to back down, I want to win every argument.


So my dilemma that I end up with this week is whether I have to love everybody or whether it's acceptable to me to continue being rude to the people I don't love? Sounds rather ridiculous after writing it, but it's a real problem. There are people I just can't stand being around. Any way I can reduce the amount of time they are around me, the better. Some people just don't get the hint to leave me alone unless I'm rude to them. So do I have to love these people?


Then there are those people that I know I have to love, but I can't resist the rudeness because they just push my buttons. For example are certain future relative just doesn't seem to understand that I am a responsible adult with good judgment, good taste, and a good heart. Everything I do is "wrong," and everything I'm going to do probably requires her input and "guidance." How do I set appropriate boundaries with her without being rude, but still standing up for myself. I can imagine that there will be times when being unkind seems the only means to make a point. This is definitely something I need to trust God for wisdom and grace.